Mon, 12 March 2018
For over a year now, much of the world has been watching the United States. With Donald Trump becoming the 45th president of the United States, and an investigation being opened into his campaign shortly after his inauguration, many of us, including all of us here at Majority Villain, have been watching with a healthy mix of shock and curiosity to see what will REALLY come of the allegations of collusion with Russia. Every day, we open our preferred 'fake news' branded site to see what car accident we get to watch in slow motion today.
From an outside perspective, it seems as if Robert Mueller, the former head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, is producing results and untangling the interwoven threads that make up the 2016 Trump Pence campaign. To date, criminal proceedings have been initiated against 19 people. Out of the 19, five of them are United States citizens, and four of them worked for the Trump Campaign itself.
Robert Mueller and his team are on a mission, and they are producing results. But, this begs the question: Who are these people that have been charged? How did they get themselves into such a predicament? Let's go ahead and start with number one. The first man to be indicted: George Papadopoulos. The man that started it all. But… I think that I may be ill equipped to launch into this by myself. I think we need a little help from some of my better known friends… The Obstruction of Justice League of America! Aggregate!
Greg: Oh, hold on I gotta take this… Hello?
Ethan: Dude, I was just listening to the intro - and uh, yeah you can’t say that.
G: Oh hi Ethan. What do you mean? You’re too late. I just said it. Everybody literally just heard me do it.
E: Yeah, but Stephen Colbert did this already.
G: What are you talking about?
E: On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert did the Justice League thing. Back in July.
G: I don’t understand the words that you’re using.
E: He made the same joke.
G: A joke like our joke?
E: The SAME joke.
G: But that’s our thing. We made the Obstruction of Justice League.
E: HE USED THE SAME NAME, DUDE!!!!
G: What? No, that’s not possible…
E: See what I mean? You gotta change it.
G: Yeah, I mean, yeah. I see what you mean. I’m glad you said something before...
E: Ok good. I just didn’t want to see you make an ass out of yourself or anything.
G: Yeah, sure sure. Just let me, real quick.
E: I’m glad we could see eye to eye on this one. It would have been a real shame if we—
G: Uh, hey Ethan.
G: JUSTICE LEAGUE, AMALGAMATE!
E: That’s not even how it goes…
The Justice League Starring...
Longest serving FBI director since J Edgar Hoover and former vietnam marine, Robert “Superman” Mueller…. As Muellerman!
Former FBI director James “Martian Manhunter” Comey…. As Martian Manhunter Comey!
Trump Campaign pawn, and federally prosecuted, George “Brainiac” Papadopoulos…. As the Legion of Doom’s Brainiopoulos!
Donald J. Trump as Lex Luthor…. As LEXALD J. LUTHOR!
Join our band of heroes as they work together for good against the tyranny of treason as the Obstruction of Justice League of America!!!
BACK AT THE LEGION OF DOOM’S HQ - THE HALL OF DOOM
Lexald J. Luthor plans his attack on Giganta Hillary Clinton.
Campaign staffer Sam Clovis sends recruit George Brainiopoulos on a secret mission to improve relations between the United States and Russia. While in his secret London lair, the Brainiopoulos is approached by Professor Joseph Mifsud - a man with known connections to Russia and Vladmirro himself.
Brainiopoulos and Professor Mifsud meet on numerous occasions between mid-March, 2016 under the pretense that Russia has "dirt" on “Hilganta” from her private communications and on March 24th, Professor Mifsud is joined by Olga “The Cheetah” Polonskaya, in disguise as the beloved niece of Vladmirro.
Clovis encourages Brainiopoulos to travel to Russia to meet with agents of Russia’s Foreign Ministry after learning of Hilganta secret email weakness and on return boasts of alleged intel regarding Hilganta’s feculent digital trail.
BUT NOT SO FAST! The Obstruction of Justice League’s James “Martian Manhunter” Comey is keen to the rouse, and delves deeper into the doings of the Legion of Doom’s dubious developments.
After numerous requests for Lexald J. Luthor to meet with Russian representatives, Brainiopoulos is told by the Toymanafort and Gorilla Gates that Lexald J. Luthor will not make the journey - but rather, a minion in his stead.
Upon learning of Brainiopoulos’ ongoings - the Martian Manhunter Comey catches the scent of wrongdoing afoot and sends emissaries, spooking Brainiopoulos who in sensing the danger of his pursuers purges the records of his personal book of faces. He creates a new book in its place.
Luthor, sensing the unending pressure upon him, looks to banish the Martian Manhunter Comey back to Mars, lest he never be heard from again.
But Lexald J. Luthor has underestimated the Justice League’s bureaucratic power as the Manhunter’s power orb is absorbed into Muellerman (HERO MUSIC), making the Justice League and Muellerman more knowledgeable than ever before.
With all of the information in his possession, Muellerman springs to action, closes his decisive grip of justice around Brainiopoulos, bringing the young Luthor pawn and his actions to a screeching halt. Smelling the scent of defeat, being captured for his deceptions, Brainipolous pleads guilty to all charges. The world is safer for another day, and the work of Justice League of America has just begun.
Tune in next time…
Upon learning of his betrayal of his once beloved compatriot, Luthor does everything in his power to disavow Brainiopoulos, minimizing and obscuring his actions as a low-level minion fraught with/plagued by delusions of grandeur.
Greg: So, what do you think?
Ethan: Dude, I told you like 10 minutes ago, Colbert already made this joke.
Greg: I don’t recall that information whatsoever.
Ethan: Somebody is gonna sue us.
Greg: We don’t have any assets anyway.
You’ve been listening to the Majority Villain podcast. Today’s show was written by Ethan Braine and Gregory Haddock. To redeem your superfriend points for this episode visit the website at majorityvillain.com and Facebook and Twitter @majorityvillain. Show music via the Free Music Archive, and show images via Flickr. All media used under Fair Use and Creative Commons Licensing. Episode image by Tom Woodward.
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